When trying to meet new people,  one of the best ways to succeed is a sustained effort and participating in tasks you are already drawn towards.

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If I were giving advice to a young guy, I’d say find the thing that you can see yourself really enjoying regardless of the outcome. Then do these three things: show up, work hard, and be kind. I think you will find yourself over time as part of a community that’s important to you.

Graham Isador, Men are Lonely, So Why is it so Hard For Them to Make Friends

It follows from all this then, that spending at least some of your leisure time “wastefully”, focused solely on the pleasure of the experience, is the only way not to waste it – to truly be at leisure, rather than covertly engaged in future-focused self improvement. In order to fully inhabit the only life you get, you have to refrain from using every spare hour for personal growth. Take up a hobby, with no particular expectation of improving at it (and certainly not of turning it into a marketable “side hustle”). Go for an aimless walk. Stare out the window.

Oliver Burkeman, Four Thousand Weeks

Have to stop myself from climbing
On the table full of empties to yell
“Why, why can’t I draw right up to what I want to say?”
“Why can’t I ever stop where I want to stay?”

I slide right through my days
I’m always throwing hack weight

Right off, no never never ever ever
Right off, no never never ever never
Right off, no never never never ever
Right off, no never ever never ever

The Weakerthans, Tournament of Hearts